John 10:1-10 A man walks into a library and asks the librarian forbooks about paranoia. She whispers, “They’re right behind you!” My wife tells me I have 2 major faults.I don’t listen and something else. We are going to look at the next I AM statement ofJesus. Before we get started, let’s remember the threetruths…
John 8:12-30 A soldier in the trenches of WWI had lost his rifle ina previous battle. His sergeant ordered his troopsto attack. He didn’t move. The sergeant screamedat his soldier. The soldier said, “Serge! I lost myrifle in the last battle.” The sergeant looks around andfinds a wicker broom. He says, “Point this at theenemy…
John 8:58 A motorist is speeding down the road when he ispulled over. The officer tells him, “Sir do yourealize how fast you were going?” The motorist replies, “Yeah I know, but I have togo.” The cop interrupts him, “Not so fast. You’re goingto have to wait for the chief to get back in a…
John 6:26-58 A Woman Shoots Her Husband For Stepping On TheClean Floor… A police officer jumps into his squadcar and calls the station. “I have an interestingcase here,” he says. “A woman shot her husbandfor stepping on the floor she just mopped.” “Haveyou arrested her?” asks the sergeant. “No, not yet.The floor’s still wet.” Last…
John 11:1-46 One afternoon a man came home from work to find totalmayhem in his house. His three children were outside, stillin their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty foodboxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. Thedoor of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door tothe house.Proceeding to the…
John 9:1-38 A man goes door-to-door selling vacuums and knocks on his first door. A big unkempt woman answers the door but before she can say anything he slips past her into the house. He immediately throws dog poop on the floor. She yells at him, “What are you doing?!” He tells her, “If this…
John 6:16-21 A man named Marty called his son. “Harry I havenews to tell you, I know it’s going to upset you butI have made up my mind and there is nothing youcan do about it. I have decided to divorce yourmother.” “But dad how can that be “the son asked “you havebeen married for…
John 6:1-15 A carrot is hosting a party. The first to arrive is Carrot’s friend Apple, butaccompanying him is somebody Carrot does notknow. They look just like Apple, but green instead,and so, carrots says, “Hello Apple, who might yourfriend be?”. The new fellow replies, “Hello, I am also Apple,nice to meet you.” And so, after…
John 5:1-15 A fire started on some grassland near a farm. Thecounty fire department was called to put out thefire. The fire was more than the county firedepartment could handle. Someone suggested thata nearby volunteer bunch be called.Despite some doubt that the volunteer outfit wouldbe of any assistance, the call was made.The volunteers arrived in…
John 4:39-54 A man meets the best Bible salesman in the world.The salesman greets him, “Nuh, nuh, nuh, nice tomeet you.” The man asks him, “If you don’t mind me asking,what’s your secret?” The salesman replies, “It’s suh, suh, suh, simple. Ijuh, juh, just go to the duh, duh, duh, door and suh,say, ‘Duh, duh,…