Sermons

David’s Dysfunctional Family – Difficult News

2 Samuel 18:19-33

Picture a small-town high school football stadium on a
Friday night.
The home team wins a huge playoff game. The
scoreboard lights up: HOME 28 – VISITORS 14. The
crowd erupts. The band plays. Players lift the coach on
their shoulders.
But in the stands, one man doesn’t cheer.
He’s staring at the field, searching every group of players
coming off. Eventually, he pushes past celebrating fans
and runs toward the locker room entrance. Someone
stops him and says,
“Sir! Did you see the score? We won!”
He answers, almost impatiently,
“I don’t care about the score. Is my son okay?”
During the final quarter, his son had been hit hard and
carried off the field. The victory is real. The scoreboard
doesn’t lie. But for the father, the only question that
matters isn’t “Did we win?”—it’s “Did my child survive?”
That’s David at the gate.

Last week we read of Absalom’s death and how God
protected David from Absalom’s uprising. We learned that
no man can thwart God’s plan.
This week our Scripture tells us about David’s response
to the difficult news.

Let’s pause and ask God to speak to us this morning as
we open His word.

2 Samuel 18:19-33

Have you ever delivered news to someone and their
reaction was the opposite of what you expected?
Ahimaaz thought the king would rejoice at the news that
his enemy had been killed and the threat against his
kingdom eliminated.
But what he failed to consider is that David was more
concerned about the welfare of his son than he was the
threat to his kingdom.

Delivering Difficult News

Ahimaaz’s Desire
Ahimaaz seeks permission from Joab to take this good
news to the king.
He has delivered good news to the king in chapter 17,
telling David that it was safe to cross the Jordan.

But Joab did not allow it.

Joab’s Denial and Reassignment
Joab had seen how David had responded to difficult news
in the past, specifically when he heard of the death of
Saul and the death of Ishbosheth.
David had those men killed.

Joab tells Ahimaaz that he will not be delivering any news
today. Another day, just not today because the king’s son
is dead.
Joab sends the Cushite to tell the king what he has seen.
This may have been Joab’s way of protecting Ahimaaz.

Ahimaaz’s Persistence
But Ahimaaz would not be dissuaded and kept on asking
Joab if he could please take the news to the king.

Ahimaaz repeats the phrase “come what may” to Joab
even though he knows there will be no reward for telling
the king news he has already heard.

Joab finally agrees to let him go and Ahimaaz takes a
different route than the Cushite. The Bible tells us that he
outran the Cushite.

2 Samuel 18:24-29

Dealing with Difficult News

David so desperately wanted to receive good news that
he viewed everything through rose colored glasses.

David’s Hopefulness
The watchman on the wall noticed a man running alone
David said this must be good news.

If things had gone badly a whole crowd of men would
have been retreating.

The watchman saw a second runner also running alone.
David again believes that this man must also be bringing
good news.

The watchman declares that he thinks he has identified
the running style of the first man as Ahimaaz.
This time David speaks to the character of Ahimaaz and
says that since he is a good man he must be bringing
good news.

Ahimaaz reaches the city first and begins by telling the
king that all is well.
He continues by telling David that the Lord delivered his
enemies into their hands.
David asks the only question that matters to him:
Is it well with the young man Absalom?

Then Ahimaaz lies to the king.
We know he’s lying because in verse 20 Joab told
Ahimaaz that the king’s son was dead.

Ahimaaz tells the king that there was a lot of commotion
and he isn’t sure what happened to Absalom.

Isn’t it funny how persistent he was to come tell David
the news about the war but then he didn’t even tell him
the truth?

David tells Ahimaaz to step to the side and wait.
He wants to speak to the other man who had been
running to deliver news. This man must have good news.

2 Samuel 18:30-33

The Cushite approaches and says that he brings good
news for the king also.
He gives a very similar intro as Ahimaaz about God giving
the king’s enemies into their hand.

Again David asks only about the safety of his son.
The Cushite very tactfully delivers the news that the
king’s son is dead.

Next we see,
David’s Grief

Sorrow
David weeps as would be expected after losing a child.
The Scripture says he was deeply moved and went up
and wept. You get a sense of his deep sorrow as you read
him repeating my son six times and his name twice.
Even the death of a rebellious son is devastating to a
parent.

Substitution
David laments that he would have gladly changed places
with Absalom and died in his place.
I think most parents would gladly do the same for their
children.

Do you remember David’s response to Nathan after he
rebuked him for sinning with Bathsheba?
He said the neighbor who stole the other neighbor’s only
lamb fourfold because of what he did and because he had
no pity.

David’s Loss
This makes the fourth loss that David suffered since his
sin with Bathesheba
The baby died
His daughter Tamar was raped
Amnon was murdered
Absalom was killed

He has now received exactly what he thought was the
right punishment for his sin.

APPLICATION

Deliver Difficult News Tactfully

Ahimaaz didn’t consider how he would answer the king’s
question about his son. Ahimaaz only viewed Absalom as
an enemy, but David loved his son.
So rather than speak the truth he chose to lie.
We must take great care to deliver difficult news with
grace and truth.
David’s son Solomon wrote these words
Proverbs 12:22 “Lying lips are an abomination to the
Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.”

God Understands our Grief

When we go through tough times we must remind
ourselves that God understands our grief.

He endured it when He chose to send His only Son to the
cross so that we could be reconciled to Him.
It was the only way that we could receive complete and
final forgiveness for our sin.

It was a display of a Father’s Love and Grace.
It’s ok to grieve our losses. But our comfort comes from
our heavenly Father
Isaiah 41:10 “fear not, for I am with you; be not
dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will
help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Psalm 34:8 “Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!”

Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and
saves the crushed in spirit.”

God understands your grief, He understands your pain.
He alone can comfort you!
Run to Him.