Sermons

David’s Dysfunctional Family – Absalom’s Vengeance

2 Samuel 13:23-39

In the early 1500s, Louis XII of France rose to the throne under
tense circumstances. Many of the nobles had opposed him while
he was the Duke of Orléans. Some had even tried to have him
killed. And now, those very people were under his authority.

Everyone expected revenge. In fact, some of his advisors
urged him to execute or imprison his former enemies. And Louis
did something interesting—he had a list made. A long list of the
names of those who had betrayed or conspired against him.

That list began to circulate throughout the court. His enemies
were terrified. They knew their names were there. The message
was clear: the king knew who had wronged him.

But then—everything changed. Louis XII took the list and,
one by one, he drew a red cross next to each name. His advisors
were confused. “Sire, what does this mean? These are your
enemies!”

And Louis said something unforgettable:”Yes, I know. But the
cross means they are forgiven. Do you think I keep a record of
injuries after I have pardoned them?”

That’s a picture of the gospel. God doesn’t just forgive us
and keep our names in some mental file of past failures. He
marks them with a cross. Not a symbolic one drawn with red
ink—but a real one, stained with the blood of His Son.

Psalm 103 says, “As far as the east is from the west, so far
has He removed our transgressions from us.” Your name isn’t
written next to your sin anymore—it’s written in the Lamb’s Book
of Life. Because the King has pardoned you.

Last week we saw the beginnings of David’s dysfunctional
family. I told you that children learn how to behave by
watching their parent’s actions rather than listening to
their words.

We saw how David’s lust after Bathsheba set the
stage for Amnon’s lust after his own half-sister Tamar.

This week we are going to see how David’s murder of
Uriah affects his son Absalom after the rape of his sister
by Amnon.

Absalom knew that David got away with murder so this
got him thinking/plotting his revenge.

2 Samuel 13:23-39

Absalom’s Murderous Plot

For two years Absalom was plotting his revenge against
his half-brother Amnon.
For two years he spoke neither good nor bad to him.
Absalom hated Amnon.

Absalom had sheepshearers at Baal-hazor which is about
15 miles northeast of Jerusalem.

The custom in Israel was to have sheepshearing feasts
with family and friends sharing the festivities.

Absalom decided to use the sheepshearing festival
as a cover for his attempt to take Amnon’s life.

Absalom invited David and all of his sons to join the
festivities.
David refused, but gave the blessing for Absalom to go.

Absalom asked specifically about his brother Amnon
attending.
David asks why Absalom wants him to go.
Do you think David knew Absalom was still harboring
hatred for his brother in his heart?

Absalom not only convinces David to allow Amnon to
attend, but all his brothers.
Maybe David thought it would be safer if all his sons
went.

Absalom commands his servants to wait until Amnon is
merry with wine and then strike him and kill him.

Notice again the parallel between David and Absalom.
David tried getting Uriah drunk so he would go sleep with
Bathsheba.
Absalom tells his servants to get him drunk before killing
him.

Absalom didn’t do his own dirty work just like his dad
didn’t.
David had Joab command the army to pull back leaving
Uriah exposed so he would be killed.
Absalom had his servants strike Amnon.

After this all of David’s sons arose and fled on mules.
They headed back to Jerusalem.

Consider the impact of David’s actions.
In the first half of the chapter David commanded Tamar
to go to Amnon’s house to bring him food which led to
the disastrous consequence of her rape.

In the second half of the chapter we see David command
Amnon to attend the festival which ultimately leads to his
death.
David lacked discernment in his dealings with his son.

It’s important for us to have discernment with the
people in our lives.

As we consider discernment let’s turn our attention to the
next four verses.

2 Samuel 13:30-33

We have all heard the saying “bad news travels fast”.

This is the case here, gossip spreads like wildfire.

But what is missing from this news?

The truth – when news travels it seems to get worse as it
passes from one person to the next.

By the time it reached the kingdom, it wasn’t that Amon
had been killed, but all of David’s sons had been killed.

The Indignation – David didn’t question the veracity of
the news, he simply tore his garments and lay on the
earth. Why didn’t David ask for verification or object that
he couldn’t believe that his own son would kill his brother.
Probably because he knew deep down that Absalom
hated Amnon since the day of Tamar’s rape.

The Intent – Jonadab encourages David that only Amnon
has been killed. And even though Amnon is the successor
to the king, it’s still better to lose one son than all of
them at once.

Jonadab indicates that Absalom has been considering this
murder since the day that Tamar was violated.

The question I have is this: was it really Absalom’s idea?
Or did the crafty Jonadab hatch this plan like the one he
hatched for Amnon to get alone with Tamar?

2 Samuel 13:34-39

Absalom went one way and the other brothers went back
home.
When they were within eyesight of the castle they were
spotted and Jonadab begins taking credit for his
prediction that it was only Amnon who was killed.

When the other sons arrived they came to David and
they all wept.

It’s important to remember that even when people do
evil, God uses it to accomplish His plan.

Remember when God promised David that one would be
born of him who would build the temple and who would
sit on the throne. God was talking about Solomon.
Sometimes God does things that we don’t understand,
but it’s always for our good and always for His glory.

Absalom fled to the king of Geshur who is a relative of his
mother.
David continued mourning the loss of his son.
After a few years David longed to go out to Absalom.
This verse is likely saying that David longed for
reconciliation with Absalom.

Parents want to be reconciled to their children!

We must continue to pray for them to return to us and
never give up praying.

APPLICATION

Be Discerning

We have to realize the mistakes we have made and be
able to discuss them with our children and admit our
mistakes.

James 1:15– “Then desire when it has conceived gives
birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth
death.”

We must be able to discern when our children are
following our bad examples and help them avoid making
the same mistakes.

We should teach them to learn from our mistakes and
show them that we have confessed our sins and that God
has forgiven us.
I John 1:9– “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just
to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all
unrighteousness.”

Be Forgiving

The Bible teaches us that vengeance is the Lord’s.

It is not our job to get revenge when we are wronged.

Deuteronomy 32:35– “Vengeance is mine, and
recompense.”

Recompense means I will repay.

It’s not our responsibility to get revenge. God will take
care of it in His perfect justice.

Leviticus 19:18– “You shall not take vengeance or bear a
grudge against the sons of your own people, but you
shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.”

That sounds a lot like what Jesus preached on His sermon
on the mount.

Matthew 5:38-39– “You have heard that it was said,
‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you,
Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you
on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.”

When we are wronged, forgiveness is the answer, not
vengeance.