2 Samuel 13:1-22
Have you ever thought your family was the only family
that had skeletons in the closet? Every family has the
crazy uncle or the embarrassing sister or the addicted
grandma. Whatever your family drama looks like I bet it
pales in comparison to David’s dysfunctional family.
Last week we talked about the way God restores us after
He disciplines us. God restored David’s marriage with
Bathsheba and blessed them with a son. God is just but
He is also loving.
Today we are going to examine the first 22 verses of
2 Samuel 13. We are going to get a glimpse into David’s
Dysfunctional Family.
Here is the sermon in a sentence.
Children learn how to behave by watching their
parents actions not by listening to their words.
2 Samuel 13:1-6
First, let’s discuss the family tree.
We know David.
Amnon was born of Ahinoam.
Absalom and Tamar were born of Maacah.
Jonadab is the son of David’s brother Shimeah.
Amnon thought he was in love with Tamar, his half sister,
but as we will see shortly he really doesn’t love her.
Amnon’s emotional feelings for Tamar are really lust.
Amnon Lusted After his Half-sister Tamar
The Bible strictly forbids a man from sleeping with his
sister or even half sister.
Leviticus 18:9-11 “You shall not uncover the nakedness of
your sister, your father’s daughter or your mother’s
daughter, whether brought up in the family or in another
home. You shall not uncover the nakedness of your son’s
daughter or of your daughter’s daughter, for their
nakedness is your own nakedness. You shall not uncover
the nakedness of your father’s wife’s daughter, brought
up in your father’s family, since she is your sister.”
Deuteronomy 27:22 “Cursed be anyone who lies with his sister,
whether the daughter of his father or the daughter of his
mother.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen.’”
Amnon had made himself sick over his sister Tamar
because he wanted her so badly, but he knew that he
was not supposed to be with her in that way.
Jesus warned about lustful thoughts in
Matthew 5:27-30 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You
shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone
who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already
committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right
eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it
is better that you lose one of your members than that
your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right
hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it
is better that you lose one of your members than that
your whole body go into hell.”
According to Jesus Amnon has already sinned because he
has already had lustful thoughts about his sister.
We should guard our thought life as much as we
guard our actions.
Rather than seeking good Godly counsel, Amnon listens
to his crafty cousin, Jonadab.
Amnon Listened to Bad Advice
Jonadab could see that something was bothering Amnon
so he asks him what his problem is. Amnon tells Jonadab
that he is in love with his sister Tamar.
Jonadab devised a plan to get Tamar in Amnon’s
presence.
Pretend you are sick and ask your dad, the king, to have
your sister come over and bake you some cakes and feed
them to you.
This brings up two truths that we must remember.
We must be very selective of who we seek counsel
from.
Seeking counsel from worldly individuals will get us worldly
advice.
Seeking counsel from godly individuals will get us godly
advice.
Family does not always provide the best advice.
When we get advice we should always check to see if it
aligns with God’s word and His character.
2 Samuel 13:7-14
Amnon’s Deceit
David didn’t think anything of Amnon asking for his sister
to come bake him some cakes. Amnon appeared to be
sick lying in his bed. David had no idea what Amnon was
up to.
Once Tamar arrived at Amnon’s place, she baked the
cakes and brought them to him, emptying the pan before
him.
But,
Amnon refused to eat the cakes that his sister baked.
Amnon asked for everyone to leave the room.
Amnon gets in close proximity to Tamar.
All this is to accomplish a deceitful act of raping his own
sister.
It’s utterly despicable.
Tamar’s Refusal
Tamar tells him no. They both know this is an outrageous
thing. As well as being against God’s word.
Tamar appeals to Amnon’s love for her – think of the
shame this will bring on me.
Tamar appeals to Amnon’s reputation – you don’t want to
be known as an outrageous fool in Israel.
Amnon refuses to listen and overpowers her and violates
her.
2 Samuel 13:15-22
After Amnon violated Tamar his feelings did a complete
180.
Verse 1 and verse 4 both mention Amnon’s love for
Tamar,
But now he hates her with more love than he loved her
with.
Sexual Sins Produce Emotional Damage
There are many Scriptures that warn against sexual
immorality. Let’s take a look at two.
I Thessalonians 4:3-5 “For this is the will of God, your
sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality;
that each one of you know how to control his own body in
holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the
Gentiles who do not know God;”
Hebrews 13:4 “Let marriage be held in honor among
all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will
judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
God designed sexual intercourse for marriage. Because
when a man and woman come together they become one
flesh.
Amnon’s reaction is because of his sin.
He never loved Tamar.
People who love you don’t manipulate you.
People who love you put your needs above their own.
Amnon tells Tamar to leave, but she refuses and says
that making her leave is worse than what he has already
done to her.
Amnon doesn’t care, so he tells his servant to throw her
out and lock the door behind her.
The Scripture mentions Tamar’s clothing.
She was wearing a long robe with sleeves – the attire of
the virgins of the king. Since she is no longer a virgin she
put ashes on her head and tore her robe and went away
crying.
None of this was her fault, but it damaged her anyway.
The feelings that a woman endures after suffering a rape
must be unimaginably difficult.
By God’s grace, her true brother Absalom finds her and
takes her into his house. He asked her if she had been
with Amnon, but he likely already knew by her
appearance and her crying.
Absalom told Tamar not to mention any of it because
Amnon was her half brother.
Absalom had other plans, but we will get to that next
week.
What is God teaching us from today’s text?
APPLICATION
Be Mindful of our Behavior
People, especially our children, are watching how we live
our lives. They see how we respond to adversity. They
see how we interact with others.
Let’s imitate Christ
Let’s keep His Word
Let’s point others to Him