2 Samuel 14:1-33
In his book Lee: The Last Years, Charles Bracelen
Flood reports that after the Civil War, Robert E. Lee
visited a Kentucky lady who took him to the
remains of a grand old tree in front of her house.
There she bitterly cried that its limbs and trunk had
been destroyed by Federal artillery fire. She looked
to Lee for a word condemning the North or at least
sympathizing with her loss. After a brief silence,
Lee said, “Cut it down, my dear Madam, and forget
it.” It is better to forgive the injustices of the past
than to allow them to remain, let bitterness take
root and poison the rest of our life.
(Michael Williams)
Last week we saw Absalom take vengeance on Amon for
raping his sister. We talked about how God promises that
vengeance is His and we should choose forgiveness over
vengeance.
This week we are going to see scheming make matters
worse.
2 Samuel 14:1-20
Joab’s Scheme of Confrontation
After David sinned with Bathsheba the Lord sent Nathan
to rebuke David. Which worked because David confessed
his sin and repented of it.
Here in 2 Samuel 14 Joab decides to do something
similar, but it was his idea not God’s.
Joab cares deeply about David and knows that Absalom is
now the heir to David’s throne. But Absalom is about 80
miles away in Geshur after killing Amnon. And David does
not want to deal with the situation, but his spirit longed
to go out to Absalom.
Joab devises a scheme. He finds a wise woman from
Tekoa and convinces her to go to David with a fictional
story. The goal of the scheme is to get David to see that
he should choose forgiveness rather than bitterness.
She pretended to be a widow whose sons were out in the
field and one son killed the other. It reminds you of Cain
and Abel doesn’t it?
The widow continues with her story saying that everyone
in the clan wants the surviving son to face the
consequences for his actions. They want him to face the
death penalty.
The widow tells king David that killing the heir would
quench her coal. This is referring to extinguishing her
husband’s name and their family line.
David attempts to dismiss her by telling her that he will
deal with it, but she does not accept that answer.
She presses the king and continues on making him take
an oath by the name of the Lord that her son would be
kept safe from those who want to kill him.
David makes the oath and then the widow drops the
hammer!
She says that David has convicted himself because he
has banished his son for murdering his brother.
Her reference to our lives being like water spilled on the
ground is basically her saying life is short, we must not
hold grudges.
She then compliments David for having good discernment
and knowing what to do in difficult situations.
David knew something was fishy with this widow so he
asked if Joab had anything to do with her coming to him?
She let the cat out of the bag but defended Joab because
he just wanted to make things right with Absalom.
Joab’s scheme confronted David and forced him to deal
with Absalom.
2 Samuel 14:21-24
David’s Scheme of Avoidance
Most people don’t love confrontation, but it’s necessary
when relationships have been fractured.
If we simply bury our heads in the sand and avoid the
situation they always get worse, never better.
David appeared to be looking for restoration because of
Joab’s scheme, but in reality he was just avoiding the
situation.
He was in a tough place as a king and as a father.
As the king, he didn’t want to be seen as soft on crime,
especially when it concerns his own son. He didn’t want
to have him executed so he had him banished. But now
Joab has convinced him to bring him back, but David
puts restrictions on his return, not allowing him to be in
his presence. David forced Absalom to stay in his own
house apart from David.
As a father, he had a hard time forgiving him for killing
Amnon.
On the one hand it seems justified since what Amnon did
deserved death.
But on the other hand, vengeance belongs to the Lord
and Absalom took matters into his own hand.
David’s scheme kept him from dealing with the situation
the way God wanted him to.
2 Samuel 14:25-33
Absalom’s Desperate Scheme
Verses 25 and 26 give us a description of the popularity
and physical appearance of Absalom.
He was handsome, he had no blemishes and he had
luscious hair.
But we know from I Samuel 16 that appearance is not a
valid reason to choose a king. Saul proved that!
The Lord told Samuel that man looks at outward
appearances, but God looks at the heart.
Verse 27 tells us that Absalom had 3 sons and a daughter
named Tamar. Isn’t it interesting that the sons aren’t
named but the daughter is?
It’s likely because the sons died at an early age. Also, it’s
probably to emphasize the fact that he named his
daughter after his sister who was violated by Amnon.
Absalom was frustrated because he has been back in
Jerusalem for two years now, but he can’t see the king,
his dad, face to face. His dad is avoiding him.
It’s human nature to hold grudges rather than grant
forgiveness.
One day a visitor leaned on the old fence around a farm,
while he watched an old farmer plowing with a mule.
After a while, the visitor said, “I don’t like to tell you how
to run your business, but you would not have to work so
hard if you would just say, “gee” and “haw” to that mule
instead of just tugging on those lines. The old farmer
stopped and pulled a big handkerchief from his pocket
and wiped his face. Then he said, “Reckon you’re right,
but this animal kicked me five years ago and I ain’t spoke
to him since.”
Holding grudges can cause us trouble.
We should remember Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one
another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in
Christ forgave you.”
God forgave David for his adultery with Bathsheba and
the murder of Uriah, but David refused to forgive
Absalom for murdering Amnon.
Absalom requested a meeting with Joab twice, but Joab
ignored him. So out of desperation Absalom tells his
servants to set Joab’s field on fire.
Remember when Samson tied the tails of foxes together
and set them on fire and released them in the fields of
the Philistines?
Absamon now has Joab’s attention.
Once Joab arrives at Absalom’s house, he tells him he
wants him to go ask the king why he brought him back if
he won’t let him come into his house or see his face.
Absalom asks Joab to set up a meeting so the king can
determine if he is guilty of murder.
Absalom wants a resolution and refuses to wait any
longer.
When Absalom came before the king he bowed down with
his face to the ground.
And David kissed him.
The Scripture doesn’t say David forgave him, just that he
kissed him.
It also doesn’t say that Absalon repented for what he had
done.
This seems more like a king – subject relationship rather
than a father – son one.
David refused to discipline his son properly for his sin.
David also refused to forgive his son for his sin.
As parents, we have to make sure there are
consequences when our kids mess up, but we also have
to offer forgiveness and grace when they repent.
We have to parent like our heavenly Father does, with
love and justice.
APPLICATION
Our application this morning is simple.
Avoid Schemes and Trust God
Joab should not have contrived his own plan, but
sought the Lord to see how He wanted to handle
the situation.
If the Lord wanted Joab to get involved like Nathan, He
would have made it clear. Joab took matters in his own
hands rather than leaving it to God.
David should not have avoided the situation, but
asked God how He wanted him to respond.
Avoidance is almost always the worst possible thing we
can do in conflict. Prayer is the best place to start when
we are seeking restoration.
Absalom should not have refused repentance, but
sought God’s guidance for restoration with his
father.
When people in our lives refuse forgiveness we should
pray that God softens their heart and leads them to
forgiveness.
We should all remember that we are all sinners who have
sinned against a holy God and we deserve death, but God
even while we were dead in our trespasses made us alive
together with Christ.